ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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