Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Randomize
