Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I deserve this hangover.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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