What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
