This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I did not marry a roomba.
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