I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
