i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I just sucked dick on a ferry
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
