Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
