in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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