You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
false alarm. still invincible.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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