Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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