we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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