i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Randomize
