just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Randomize
