he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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