I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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