thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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