oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
