I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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