He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize