Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
