brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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