im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
