The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
