Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
