i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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