I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I have tasted many bathrooms
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize