Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
