Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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