Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
