That's intense
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
