Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
pop tarts are not kleenex
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Drake has all the answers
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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