i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
