I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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