Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
