Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
