i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
The feeling are messing with the penis
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
