I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
