Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
