possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I touched a dick in church today
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
