i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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