even my farts smell like vagina
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize