maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
