im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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