Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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