Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
