I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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