I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Randomize
