Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
