would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
