idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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