I just made out with a guy for $7.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
