but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
