im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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