Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Congratulations! We have a period
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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