apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize