you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
