Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
