No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
